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THE TALIBAN FREEDOM HATERS

 

2012 World League of Football

Semi - Finalist

THE TALIBAN FREEDOM HATERS

 

2011 World League of Football

Semi - Finalist

Owner Mike Norris

TALIBAN REGIME CHANGE - 3rd WORLD DIVISION​

 

2023 - Present  TALIBAN REGIME CHANGE - Mike & Chaser Norris

2011 - 2022      TALIBAN FREEDOM HATERS-Mike Norris

2006 - 2010             TANZANIAN DEVILS-Mike Norris

2005          DISTENDED STOMACHS OF RWANDA-Kyle Turngren

2004              WOLFPACK OF OUTER MONGOLIA-Michael Ferree

1998 - 2003          PORT AU PRINCE CARNAGE-Jeff Burgoni 

Quick quiz; what is the best team to never win the big one?  Or even be in the big one?  Answer; the Taliban Freedom Haters.  One of the most consistant teams with the most Third World Championships in WLOF history, the Freedom Haters are stuck in the semi finals. 

Mike Norris, former Marine, made the tough decision in 2010 to move his team from Tanzania to a much more volatile climate, in the hopes of bringing American values to the oppressed.  That is why the Taliban Freedom Haters are now located in Afghanistan.  Certainly not the most cost effective move, the new stadium had to be constructed out of 10 inch thick steel after all the early suicide bombing attempts.  “Yeah, after the first few car bomb hit the side of the construction, we had to adapt” Norris opined.  “Now, they just hit the side and barely make a dent!  With all the available goat shit, these clowns can make some pretty big nitrate bombs.  We do advise our fans that it is best not to hang around outside the stadium after the games…”  When further pressed about why Afghanistan, Norris comments, “You should have seen some of the options the search committee was giving us!  Here is a list of what I had to choose from:

The Timbuktu Machete Wielding Bent Penis Rapists (location Mali)

The Cairo Genital Jambalayas (location Egypt)

Abidjan Murder Boners  (location Cote d’Ivoire[Ivory Coast])

Durban Whoops! Eiferted (location South Africa)

The Fez Why Aren’t You Wearing Fezzes? (location Morocco)

Conakry InGlorious Staffords (location Guinea)

Jiminy’s Corn Syrup Eatin’ Motherfuckers of Bothswana (location Bothswana)

Lagos No Bush More Johnsons (location Nigeria)

Tom Brady’s Soft Balls of Douala (location Cameroon)

Bamako Tinker Stinkers (location Mali)

The Luanda Kung Suh Pandas (location Angola)

Mbuji-Mauyi Mushedmouth Bean Town Jackasses (location Congo Democratic Republic)

Dakar Teenage Mutant Ninja Bortles (location Senegal)

and finally, Dr. Benson Honeydew’s rejected testicle experiments of Namibia.

Not a whole lot of good choices there.”

The success the team has enjoyed, including 4 divisional titles in six years and two WLOF Semi-final appearances have made the stadium funding possible.  But fans are starting to get impatient.  Norris is realistic about the crowds.  “Since this is Afghanistan, the status quo is imminent violence.  So to say that tension has ratcheted up a level from that is to say we need to win.  Now.”

THE TALIBAN FREEDOM HATERS

 

2014 Third World Division Champion

THE TALIBAN FREEDOM HATERS

 

2013 Third World Division Champion

THE TALIBAN FREEDOM HATERS

 

2011 Third World Division Champion

THE TANZANIAN DEVILS

 

 

2009 Third World Division Champion

TALIBAN FREEDOM HATERS

 

2017 Toilet Bowl Champion

WLOFToiletBowlChampion 2019.jpg

TALIBAN FREEDOM HATERS

 

2019 Toilet Bowl Champion

ABOVE: Steel plating for THE GREAT NORRIS STADIUM.  Some points have 18 inch steel plates due to the enormous weight supported in the upper levels.  MIDDLE BELOW: Construction photo from alibaba.com of interior infastructure.  BOTTOM: Support trusses for the roof.  The enormity of the weight led to an overengineering of the roof.  Metal rebar protects the white kevlar coating from attacks from missles, smart drones, and aircraft.

THE GREAT NORRIS STADIUM or as translated in Arabic; الملعب الكافر مايك نوريس

which, loosely translated means, "The stadium of the infidel Mike Norris".  The white exo-plating is a kevlar based coating over 10" reinforced steel plating.  No windows for obvious reasons.  It is the most secure stadium facility in the world.  Go FREEDOM HATERS!

Mike Norris poses with one of the Meusburger circular base plates that are designed from premium steel that underwent thermal treatment for stress alleviation.  These are the anchor for the impact trusses that are now supporting THE GREAT NORRIS STADIUM.  The plates were milled and segmented with precision ground thickness vatiations so they can also be incorporated with chamfers.  These circular plates are built with a maximum diameter of 1,500 mm, a 500 mm maximum width, and weight up to 1,500 kilograms.

AFGHANISTAN

World League of Football

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