Previous Owners in the World League of Football
WLOF provied stats accurate from 2011 to present
Jason "Psychic" Webber
WLOF record: 35 - 36
WLOF Championships: 2
Years of WLOF ownership: 18
Brent Washburn
WLOF record: 29 - 23
WLOF Championships: 3
Years of WLOF ownership: 11
WINNER WLOF SUPERBOWL I - 1998
WINNER WLOF SUPERBOWL XVIII - 2015
WINNER WLOF SUPERBOWL VIII - 2005
WINNER WLOF SUPERBOWL XIV - 2011
WINNER WLOF SUPERBOWL XVI - 2013
OWNER THE FRENCH TICKLERS: 2003 (European Division)
OWNER CHEESE EATING SURRENDER MONKIES: 2004
(Americas Division)
OWNER CHEESE EATING SURRENDER MONKIES: 2005 - 2010 (European Division)
OWNER THE SPUD SUCKING FUCKS: 2011 - 2014 (European Division)
A ledgend in the WLOF community, longtime owner Brent Washburn has the honor of holding 3 WLOF championships in his 11 year tenure as a WLOF Owner marshalling arguably the most succesful run of championships in WLOF history.
Brent's tragic passing has left a hole in collective hearts of WLOF family. We can always look back in found memory of the excitement he brought to our league.
Larry "Scribbles" Schryver
WLOF record:
WLOF Championships: 1
Years of WLOF ownership: 5
WINNER WLOF SUPERBOWL III - 2000
OWNER SWEDISH PENIS ENLARGERS: 1997 - 2001, 2004 (European Division)
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Aaron Castel
FOUNDER OF THE WLOF (sort of)
PRE-WLOF Championships: 1
Years of WLOF ownership: 0
As the initial founder of what would become the World League of Football, Aaron Castel gets a special place in the pantheon of WLOF owners. Setting up the league, winning the league, then saying, "To hell with this shit, I'm moving to Iowa!" makes him an important if not shortsighted figure in the story of the WLOF. Never officially a WLOF owner, we still honor his wisdom and courage in founding this great league.
If you go to the website at the Pathfinder Group at Morgan Stanely , or you type in the following URL: https://fa.morganstanley.com/pathfindergroup/index.htm, you will get to see the great Aaront Castel bio as follows:
"Aaron, a native of Muscatine Iowa, earned his Bachelor of Arts degree in Business Administration from Augustana College in Rock Island, Illinois. He started his career at Guggenheim Investments (formerly Claymore Securities) where he spent four years whacking off to Octigenarian Midget Porn and the Ops Ed page of the Wall Street Journal before pursuing his MBA from the University of Iowa’s Tippie School of Management. With an MBA in finance and a song in his heart, Aaron relocated to Chicago to join First Trust Portfolios consulting with financial advisers and portfolio managers throughout the country before making the move to Morgan Stanley in 2014.
Aaron brings a different perspective and an excellent depth of knowledge to the team, including extensive understanding of closed end funds, proper rectal placement of a Fallen Angel BBB rated Goldman Sach's 1.05% yield junk bond with a 4% to 6% yield spread, and ETF’s and yield curve. He is well traveled and has previous small business experience. Aaron has been instrumental in helping his team manage the Portfolio Management platform allowing the team to help keep client investments up to date with changes in the markets and changes in his pants. Having worked closely with other financial advisers across the country, Aaron brings an extensive knowledge into the best practices needed to properly serve our clients and change their pants.
Aaron, Chloe and their son Nile reside in Davenport, Iowa. He is excited to be back in the Quad-Cities where he is close to family and friends. He is an avid sports fan, a smarmy ne'er-do-well, private owner of the worlds penultimate collection of carved fecal figuines and a member of the Geneva Country Club in Muscatine."
Jeremy Webber
WLOF record:
WLOF Championships: 0
Years of WLOF ownership: 6
OWNER SAN FRANCISCO SQUID: 1998 - 2003 (Americas Division)
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Dave "Rasputin" Briska
WLOF record:
WLOF Championships: 0
Years of WLOF ownership: 4
OWNER MONGOLIAN WILD ASSES: 1998 - 2001 (Third World Division)
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Mark Brannon
WLOF record:
WLOF Championships: 1
Years of WLOF ownership: 7
WINNER WLOF SUPERBOWL IX - 2006
OWNER CREAM TRUCKERS: 1999 - 2001, 2005 - 2008 (Americas Division)
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Tim Richards
WLOF record: 33 - 32
WLOF Championships: 0
Years of WLOF ownership: 12
Mark Ford
WLOF record:
WLOF Championships: 1
Years of WLOF ownership: 6
OWNER GOOD GERMAN BEER: 2004 - 2015 (European Division)
Tim Richards grew up a poor black child in the city of Chicago. Fueled by a burning desire for better and more stringent seat belt controls and regulations as well as an unhealthy attraction to Parisian street mimes, Tim grew a multi-million dollar company from nothing by designing a better shoulder bolt configuration using Grade 5 hex bolts for a 3 point Retractable Seat Belt. This coupled with his underground mime slave trade led to Richard’s purchase of the Prague Tologists from the great “Rectum Inspector” Dan Tallitsch in 2004. Tim quickly moved the team to Germany where he rechristened the franchise Good German Beer thus creating a marketing crossover with the folks at Hofstettner Granitbock and Aecht Schlenkerla Helles. Good German Beer has been a staple in the European division ever since.
Tim dreams of completing his first full marathon, successfully artificially inseminating a Clydesdale using a paperclip, a small spool of thread, 4 frayed wristbands from a Swatch watch, a tachyon pulse, and a blowtorch (MacGyver style!!!), and his first World League of Football Superbowl Championship. In a recent interview, Tim was quoted as saying, “….you see, you take the paperclip and thread it through the swatch wristband hole for the clasp. Once heated, the frayed ends will irritate the uterus allowing… oh, you’re asking about the Superbowl. Yes, I would like to win a WLOF Superbowl. Now about the uterus…”
POSTSCRIPT: Tim has retired from WLOF ownership to persue his career in Mime. When quesioned about his decision, Tim had no comment, but did wave his hands widly appearing to be trapped in a box and then when asked, "are you trapped in a box or something?", gave our reporter the finger.
WINNER WLOF SUPERBOWL IV - 2001
OWNER THE VATICAN CITY SMOKIN' POPES: 2000 - 2005 (European Division)
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Andrew Bishop
WLOF record:
WLOF Championships: 0
Years of WLOF ownership: 3
OWNER BOSTON PLATE JOBS: 2000 - 2002 (Americas Division)
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Dan "The Rectum Inspector" Tallitsch
WLOF record:
WLOF Championships: 0
Years of WLOF ownership: 6
OWNER KOSSIVO 409 ALL PURPOSE ETHNIC CLEANSERS: 1998 (European Division)
OWNER KOSSIVO ETHNIC CLEANSERS: 1999 (European Division)
OWNER THE PRAUGE TOLOGISTS: 2000 - 2003 (European Division)
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Jeff Burgoni
WLOF record:
WLOF Championships: 0
Years of WLOF ownership: 6
OWNER PORT AU PRINCE CARNAGE: 1998 - 2003 (Third World Division)
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Dave Glinski
WLOF record:
WLOF Championships: 1
Years of WLOF ownership: 10
WINNER WLOF SUPERBOWL VII - 2004
OWNER KADENA TYPHOONS: 1998 - 2006, 2008 (Pacific Rim Division)
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Jason Shepler
WLOF record:
WLOF Championships: 0
Years of WLOF ownership: 5
OWNER MANILLA FLAMING DRIPPIES: 1999 - 2002, 2007 (Pacific Rim Division)
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Sean Ford
WLOF record:
WLOF Championships: 0
Years of WLOF ownership: 2
OWNER SRI-LANKA MONKEY SPANKS: 2000 - 2001 (Pacific Rim Division)
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Jianhua "Jim" Jin
WLOF record:
WLOF Championships: 0
Years of WLOF ownership: 6
OWNER PEKING DRAGONS: 2002 - 2007 (Pacific Rim Division)
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Kendrick Crossland
WLOF record:
WLOF Championships: 0
Years of WLOF ownership: 2
OWNER KOSSIVO ETHNIC CLEANSERS: 2000 - 2001 (European Division)
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Mike Kane
WLOF record:
WLOF Championships: 0
Years of WLOF ownership: 1
OWNER DAMASCUS KAANANITES: 2002 (Third World Division)
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Will Wang
WLOF record:
WLOF Championships: 0
Years of WLOF ownership: 2
OWNER MOGADISHU MEATSTOCKINGS: 2003 - 2004 (Third World Division)
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Karl Reid
WLOF record:
WLOF Championships: 0
Years of WLOF ownership: 7
OWNER THE LITTLE CITY SPECIAL PEOPLE: 2002 - 2008 (Americas Division)
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Leah Roberts
WLOF record:
WLOF Championships: 0
Years of WLOF ownership: 6
OWNER AUCKLAND DENOGGINIZERS: 2003 - 2008 (Pacific Rim Division)
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Ben Cahill
WLOF record:
WLOF Championships: 0
Years of WLOF ownership: 3
OWNER THE TEXAS BATTER-FRIED BUSHMEN: 2004 - 2006 (Americas Division)
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Anna Kerr
WLOF record:
WLOF Championships: 0
Years of WLOF ownership: 1
OWNER BANGKOK BABES: 2004 (Pacific Rim Division)
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Chad Johnson
WLOF record:
WLOF Championships: 0
Years of WLOF ownership: 1
OWNER THE SAO PAULO HEROINE MULES: 2007 (Americas Division)
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Tom Roberts
WLOF record:
WLOF Championships: 0
Years of WLOF ownership: 2
OWNER BURUNDI HEAD SHRINKERS: 2007 (Third World Division)
OWNER DJIBOUTI CALL: 2008 (Third World Division)
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Cameron Brown
WLOF record:
WLOF Championships: 0
Years of WLOF ownership: 2
OWNER THE SERBIAN DRAGON SLAYERS: 2002 - 2003 (European Division)
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Kyle Bumphrey
WLOF record: 5 - 8
WLOF Championships: 0
Years of WLOF ownership: 2
OWNER PORT AU PRINCE CARNAGE: 2009 (Americas Division)
OWNER DJIBOUTI WILD ASSES: 2011 (Third World Division)
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Joe Rosenburger
WLOF record:
WLOF Championships: 0
Years of WLOF ownership: 1
Jason "Hack" Eckhoff
WLOF record: 6 - 7
WLOF Championships: 0
Years of WLOF ownership: 2
OWNER THE NOVA SCOTIA CHICKSPLITTERS: 2003 (Americas Division)
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OWNER HONG KONG PHOOEYS: 2009 (Pacific Rim Division)
OWNER TASMANIA HOBARTS: 2013 (Pacific Rim Division)
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Greg Cahill
WLOF record:
WLOF Championships: 0
Years of WLOF ownership: 4
OWNER THE MALTA LIQUOR BULLS: 2003 - 2006 (Third World Division)
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Sean G
WLOF record: 4 - 5
WLOF Championships: 0
Years of WLOF ownership: 2/3 year
OWNER PERUVIAN WONDER LLAMAS: 2012 (Americas Division)
(Only ran team for final 9 games)
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Michael Ferree
WLOF record:
WLOF Championships: 0
Years of WLOF ownership: 1
OWNER WOLFPACK OF OUTER MONGOLIA: 2004 (Third World Division)
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Kyle Turngren
WLOF record:
WLOF Championships: 0
Years of WLOF ownership: 1
OWNER DISTENDED STOMACHS OF RWANDA: 2005 (Third World Division)
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Jim Williams
WLOF record: 19 - 33
WLOF Championships: 1
Years of WLOF ownership: 9
WINNER WLOF SUPERBOWL X - 2007
OWNER FLORENCE FIRE FIGHTERS: 2006 - 2014 (European Division)
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Bart Frey
WLOF record: 3 - 10
WLOF Championships: 1
Years of WLOF ownership: 4
WINNER WLOF SUPERBOWL XI - 2008
OWNER HOKKAIDO SAKE BOMBERS: 2008 - 2011 (Pacific Rim Division)
There is a sordid and glorious history associated with the Hokkaido Sake Bombers. Prior to 2008, the furthest this franchise had ever gotten was the semi-finals of the World League of Football playoffs. Then famous Black Hat and notorious rapscallion Bart Frey brought the Bombers to Hokkaido from China, pissing off owner Dave Glinski by adding a second Japanese based team and cutting into his revenue stream. He then promptly won Hokkaido a World League of Football Superbowl Title in 2008 (WLOF Superbowl XI). Following that up Bart and Sake Bombers appeared in the following Superbowl and won the Pacific Rim division the following year. Then the wheels fell off for the Sake Bombers both on the field and off. Finishing dead last in the whole World League of Football in 2011, Frey became entangled in an international scandal involving illicit production of anal lube using polyquaternium-15 which can damage human rectal cells instead of an anti-retroviral like carrageenan, losing millions in online gambling playing the Pokemon Trading Card Game online , and his role in producing a documentary about Toronto Mayor Rob Ford that would later be made into the movie “SpongeBob; Sponge out of Water”. The combination of these scandals forced Frey’s hand and he had to sell the Bombers franchise to up and comer Mike Hinson.
Ken Gilliam
WLOF record: 11 - 15
WLOF Championships: 0
Years of WLOF ownership: 3
OWNER BRISBANE 8-BALLS: 2010 (Pacific Rim Division)
OWNER BRISBANE BLUE BALLS: 2011 - 2012 (Pacific Rim Division)
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Thomas Brannon
WLOF record:
WLOF Championships: 0
Years of WLOF ownership: 1
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James Treichsler
WLOF record: 1 - 3
WLOF Championships: 0
Years of WLOF ownership: 1/3 year
OWNER PERUVIAN WONDER LLAMAS: 2012 (Americas Division)
(Only ran team for first 4 games)
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Amy Bandy
WLOF record: 25 - 29
WLOF Championships: 0
Years of WLOF ownership: 4
OWNER PYONGYANG ISOTOPES: 2013 -2014 (Pacific Rim Division)
OWNER PYONGYANG BALL DEFLATORS: 2015 - 2016 (Pac Rim Div)
Amy was called to the rescue in 2013 in an emergency owner meeting where Jason Webber had to step down for period of time due to being overwhelmed from multiple movie roles in "A Night with Little Richard", "Gone Girl", "Rob the Mod, and "Rita Mahtoubian Is Not a Terrorist", along with legal battles as the agent for the Insane Clown Posse, personal issues which included exhaustion due to extreme frenetic masturbation, and his charity work with the Mollusk Rehabilitation Society. Amy was tapped to take over control of the storied Isotope franchise where she took them to the playoffs immediately. When Webber returned and took the Isotopes with him to Chely'abinsk, Amy stepped in and took over another storied franchise in the Spud Fucking Sucks with the passing of Brent Washburn and re-established them as the Pyongyang Ball Deflators. Amy has finally tired of the Communist life and snuck out of Pyongyang disguised as a Chinese attache with help from the Chinese government and returned to the U.S.A. She sold the franchise to new owner Justin May who has taken the Ball Deflators to Fiji, in a Truman Show maneuver. Hats off to Amy who made the playoffs two out of her 4 seasons as an WLOF owner!
Doug Cottle
WLOF record: 56 - 40
WLOF Championships: 0
Years of WLOF ownership: 13
Once considered a premier Pianist studying under the great Emil Gilels and still considered the third best banjo player in the world, Doug Cottle burst onto the World league of Football scene with his purchase of the Bangkok franchise in 2005. Using seed money intended for the Van Windermire Orphanage (relax! Doug taught those young scamps some banjo tunes so they could earn a living as 10 year old street performers) Doug was able to gain controlling interest in the Bangkok Babes. He rechristened them the Bangkok Swollen Genitalia, then thought better of it part way through the season and renamed them the Bangkok Swollen Teabags finishing the season under that franchise name. After one season, Doug had had enough of the Thailandese and moved his franchise to Paupa New Guinea with the franchise moniker the Paupa New Guinea Pigsburg Squeelers. An unapologetic Steelers fan, Doug piloted his franchise as the Squeelers for 4 years before deciding to change divisions with the Commissioner for life Jason “Psychic” Webber and moving to the European division. Here he settled in the city of Amsterdam renaming the franchise the Amsterdam Red Light Trick. After four years knee deep in whores, Cottle relocated the franchise yet again, this time to France as the St. Mihiel Tough Ombres. In their first season in St. Mihiel, the Ombres went the furthest any Doug Cottle led team has gone making an appearance in World League of Football Superbowl XVII.
Now living off his WLOF franchise winnings, Doug spends his spare time as a Professional Photographer and has taken an interest in the enterprising field of extremely boring and unnecessary photography. His latest exhibits include his series of photographs taken of documents on conservation easements and covenants and the enormously popular nudes of the Huntington Beach octogenarian Audubon society.
Mike Hinson
WLOF record: 31 - 39
WLOF Championships: 0
Years of WLOF ownership: 5
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OWNER HOKKAIDO SAKE BOMBERS: 2012 - 2016 (Pacific Rim Div)
The story of Mike Hinson is a meteoric rise of a humble Tennessee Titans fan. From the back waters of the Delta (near St. Louis), Mike forged an online empire by randomly trademarking obscure sayings. Now, Mike gets paid 3 cents every time Siri says the phrases, “I’m sorry, I do not know what ‘When it comes to Doggie style I am behind you 100%’ means”, “Holocaust jokes are not funny, anne frankly I don’t find them entertaining”, ”If you run a camp for ADHD kids it is not called a Concentration Camp”, “I can search the web for pictures of boobs”, and “Please stop talking Zooey Deschanel”. Mike bought the Sake Bombers at bargain basement prices and returned the Pacific Rim’s most dominant franchise of the last decade back around, with two Pacific Rim divisional championships in three years, and an appearance in the 2012 WLOF Superbowl XV. Alas, the glory was not to be sustained as three losing seasons in a row has derailed Hokkaido as the perennial favorite. Fan ennui and health issues related to a tragic Chinese Finger Trap injury led Mike to sell the Bombers and move on to a one thumbed life of Titanism and extreme board gaming. We bid you a found adieu Mike, and God bless!
Mike Hinson used to wander the stands as the owner of the Sake Bombers. A practice that now would be found to be a bit creepy.
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