World League of Football

Owner Jason Bowen

OUAGADOUGOU PROTESTERS - 3rd WORLD DIVISION

 

2014 - Present         OUAGADOUGOU PROTESTERS-Jason Bowen

2011 - 2013  OUAGADOUGOU OCCUPY WORLD LEAGUE PROTESTERS

                                    Jason Bowen

2008 - 2010         OUAGADOUGOU LEMURS-Jason Bowen

2007                  MADAGASCAR LEMURS-Jason Bowen

2002 - 2006        ANTANARIVO LEMURS-Jason Bowen

2000 - 2001    KOSSIVO ETHNIC CLEANSERS-Kendrick Crossland

​

​

Did you know that Ouagadougou is a city in the country of Burkina Faso?  Neither did anyone at the World League of Football headquarters.  Imagine the surprise in finding that one out.  Apparently teams have been making their way there since 2008 successfully, so no harm, no foul.  Jason Bowen is one of the senior owners having been in the WLOF since 2002.  Having a storried history and two WLOF Superbowl titles under his belt, Bowen can be a bit firey.  Here is evidence during the season ending press confrence last year after a playoff loss:

 

OUAGADOUGOU, BURKINA FASO—Jason Bowen, a 42-year-old research assistant in solid state ammonia storage and principal owner of the fantasy baseball team The Ouagadougou Protesters, blasted his underperforming team in the media Monday, going so far as to single out individual players, criticize their recent play, and question their commitment to winning.

"They all suck," a visibly frustrated Bowen told reporters following the Ouagadougou Protester’s head-to-head loss to the St. Mihiel Tough Ombres in the World League of Football playoff semi-finals. "[Russell] Wilson sucks, Julio [Jones] sucks and can’t score a damn touchdown, Greg [Olsen] fucking sucks. Everybody on my team sucks."

"The Ouagadougou Protesters have a proud tradition of winning," continued Bowen, whose team has made the playoffs the past five years, including a league championship win in 2012. "But apparently that means nothing to this group of players. Apparently they'd rather just lose every single fucking game that matters. Apparently my players don't care about winning the 16-team World League of Football Superbowl sponsored by the San Diego County Credit Union and by Famous Idaho Potato Chips, 'Mmm… as much as I do."

Bowen had high expectations for his team coming into the season, but his players have been plagued by injuries and inconsistency, going an underperforming 8 – 5  and losing their final two division matchups en route to a second place record in their division and a 6 seed wild card berth. The historically temperamental owner did not hold back his opinions after their latest humiliating defeat, telling the New York Post that Matt Forte "had better start hitting some big runs already" before making several vicious personal attacks on the Running Back, calling him a "fatass," a "fat bastard," and a "fat fuck" in the course of one statement.

"I paid a first round pick for [Jones], and this is what I get?" Bowen said, directing reporters' attention to Jones' "putrid" NFL.com Game Log. "58 goddamn yards. When you pick a guy in round 1, you had better give them a hell of a lot more than 58 receiving yards in a massive playoff game. I got you for your deep speed, buddy, not your slant routes. Then this motherfucker goes out next week and goes off for 107 yards and a Touchdown when it doesn't fucking matter. It's like these guys don't understand that."

Bowen continued his heated rant, calling 2nd Running Back Mark Ingram a "talentless hack whose goal line carries is the only thing saving his ass from waivers," claiming that kicker Mason Crosby is "killing [him], absolutely killing [him]," and encouraging the entire Bengals defense to "go eat shit." He then accused the whole team of not stepping up in a crucial game and "not playing like true Ouagadougou Protesters."

He did, however, reserve some praise for Quarterback Russell Wilson upon learning that Wilson threw for 239 yards that day, saying, "That's you, Russ.  Too damn bad you couldn’t throw a TD you shithead."

With this year’s draft already in progress, Bowen issued an ultimatum, claiming that unless his team delivers at least a Third World Division Title, there will "be some changes around here." Bowen said that "no one is safe," and had particularly strong words for wide receiver Calvin Johnson, who was injured for long stretches last season.

"Toughen up, you little baby," Bowen said. "Don’t you pull any Jordy Nelson S-H-I-T on me!   I already got Demaryius [Thomas] in the fold, so you better keep your ass healthy."

Bowen has a reputation for following his players' performance with intense scrutiny and personal investment, often to a fanatical degree. It is rumored that he monitors their progress on multiple Yahoo! Sports box score windows on his computer screen, and will erupt into obscenity-laden tirades at work after a mere dropped pass or fumble.

"Fuck you Malcom, you good-for-nothing piece of shit," Bowen was overheard as saying while angrily clicking the "Refresh" button on his web browser 14 times after Malcom Floyd dropped a ball leading to a 28 yard incompletion. "Catch the ball with two goddamn hands. I need a yardage here, you idiot. I'm getting killed!"

For some players on Bowen's team, the demand for instant results, the constant threats to be released or traded, and the nonstop verbal abuse is too much. Wide receiver Dwayne Bowe has been dropped and picked up by Bowen seven times already this season, and he says he doesn't like playing under such volatile conditions.

"I wish he'd have a little faith in me," Bowe said. "I don't like being picked up the night before a Thursday game and then simply dropped the next day. It wears on you as a player. And now I have to explain myself to my kids when they read in the papers that their daddy is a 'shit-for-brains asshole who can't even get five yards when that's all we needed to win the week.'"

"I'm sorry, but when it is first and gold from the two, and you have Jamaal Charles, I am not going to see the fade route in the end zone," Bowe added. "Even though they don't give out 'points' for blocking the corner on a sweep."

Some players, however, praised Bowen for his fiery attitude and desire to win, saying they prefer that to the kind of owners who treat their fantasy teams like nothing more than a fun distraction from their real jobs.

"It's good that he cares," said Ouagadougou running back Matt Forte. "Some owners, like Jon Ommen of the Sudan Tsunami, or Mike Norris of the Taliban Freedom Haters, they just sort of check in every once in a while to see how we're doing, but that's it. In fact, I've seen the Sudan Tsunami have Martellus Bennett in as the starting tight end in the championship game when he was injured for the week, because they did not have a backup tight end on the bench.   That's just shoddy ownership."

"But there's also a thing called caring too much," Forte added. "You can only be called a worthless shitbag after having eight men in the box the whole game because your Quarterback can’t operate with Brandon Marshall out so many times before it starts to sting. It's at the point where playing for Bowen is almost as bad as playing for Mike Ditka."